Tom Hanks’ David S. Pumpkins return on SNL was derailed by James Austin Johnson’s Trump, who admitted he might be gay while praising men’s backsides during a midterm election rant.
Tom Hanks returned to Saturday Night Live on Halloween night as David S. Pumpkins — and the moment was immediately hijacked by James Austin Johnson’s President Trump, who declared he might be gay while dissecting the butts of political candidates. The cold open, hosted by Inde Navarrette with Gracie Abrams as musical guest, opened with a low-rent amusement park ride featuring Grace Reiter and Jeremy Culhane as a couple navigating a haunted attraction.
Jane Wickline played Lizzie Borden, Sarah Sherman her severed head. Then came the real scare: Hanks in full orange glow, flanked by Mikey Day and Bobby Moynihan in skeleton suits. He danced. He startled.
He failed to terrify. And then Trump arrived. Not metaphorically. Literally.
On screen. In character. With a bruised hand. And a confession.
'We both appeared in 2016,' Johnson’s Trump said. 'We’re both loud, orange, annoying. But good acting, great ass. A great ass on Hanks.
Something I’ve enjoyed lately admiring.' He paused. 'Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just that I might be gay.' The line landed like a dropped mic. It wasn’t just the joke, it was the timing.
Midterm elections are Tuesday. Texas is turning purple. And Trump, in his own words, is desperate enough to endorse Ken Paxton, 'an ugly son of a bitch', over James Talarico, who ‘has a dynamic ass’. The bit leaned into the absurdity of political loyalty, celebrity worship, and the very real anxiety of a party facing a wipeout.
Nicki Minaj (Saidah Belo-Osagie) showed up as Trump’s new press secretary pick, declaring, 'Trump’s out here killing it, and by it, I mean my career.' She didn’t get far. Katie Zacharia (Veronika Slowikowska) tried to deliver the opening monologue. Failed. Was shoved aside.
No one cared. The segment ended not with a punchline, but with a silence. A beat. Then the music cut.
The lights went down. The audience knew what they’d seen. A sketch about power, vanity, and the grotesque spectacle of politics, all wrapped in a Halloween costume. And Tom Hanks?
He got laughed at. Again. But this time, it wasn’t for being too soft. It was for being too late.
The real star wasn’t the pumpkin. It was the man who interrupted him. Now, the question isn’t whether Hanks will return. It’s whether anyone still believes in the magic of a scare.
Or if we’ve all already been scared stiff.
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